I just finished a big overhaul of my blog site, after having been a rank novice at such things for lo these many months that White Hair Grace has been up and running. And what an adventure this has been!
One of the challenges of elderhood, especially when you’re not technically inclined, is to make peace with the reality that technology is all over the place, and some of us have come upon it a bit reluctantly. Out of necessity. I need not elaborate.
From my first flip phone (uffda, how long ago was that?!) to my first Apple computer (1996?) to my first Dell and Microsoft and Windows…to my Samsung S9plus…it’s been a heck of a ride! And NONE of it has come easily! But it has come.
Now my world is filled with WordPress. And it has been much like starting life over once again. Everything…and I do mean everything is Greek to me! From gravatars to menus to hyperlinks to HTML (I do not go there!!!) to edit to Publish…has been a learning experience. A big hill to climb!!!
Setting up and growing my WordPress blog has shown me both how slowly I still learn (folks, it has less to do with age and more to do with my strong right brain which rebels against this kind of stuff!), and yet how determined I have been to get there.
One of the graces of elderhood, it turns out, is that if you’ve had a streak of determination most of your life, you still have it now.
Years ago I heard this interesting bit of news: “The older we get, the more we become of what we’ve always been.” Crabby becomes crabbier. Cheerful becomes more cheerful. Curiosity becomes even more curious. Boredom becomes even more boring. You get the picture.
Now, I know that this isn’t carved in granite, but as I look at myself, I can see it. And one of the things that has become “more of” is this determination. When an idea has locked itself upon my brain, I’m all in.
Why else would I sit for hours, my back getting stiffer because I’m hunched over, punching keys and doing the next search on my nearby iPad for the next strange term that I must learn about?
It’s never a short, simple answer. I always miss the forest for the trees.
But I persevere.
When you love something or someone, that’s what you do. You persevere whether you’re good at it or not. You stick it through until the job is done. You put one foot in front of the other because you wouldn’t have it any other way. Because you simply must.
We’ve gotten pretty good at that, most of us elders. We’ve learned that we can make it through and find where love and time has led us. And it’s grace every time.
And that’s what I’m celebrating today: grace, and three brand new pages added to my home page! With links (I won’t tell you how long it took me to make a simple process a trip to hell and back…). Pictures sized and resized. A new header (my hand is still stiff from all the scrolling through pictures on unsplash) which I found just by looking for pictures that were “blue.”
And there is my precious, beautiful blue butterfly on an old worn window, resting in the beauty and quiet of the natural world outside, perhaps.
Out of the chrysalis and spread wide into the full beauty of what it was meant to be.
We still need time to perch on a window ledge, resting, waiting, watching, full grown now and knowing that life can still be difficult, but we’re used to that. Remembering that we make it through.